It’s been a long time since I last made an entry and for that, I’d have to apologize. The past few months have been hell. I feel like life swallowed me whole and only recently had it spat me back out. I’m just glad I can sleep early and wake up late for the next couple of weeks.
Now that I’m on Christmas break, I had this brilliant (or…) idea to get back into shape. My friends keep telling me it’s bloody stupid especially since it’s the holidays and everybody’s either hosting a Christmas party or attending one. So, I decided to go through with it.
Since I’m going through withdrawal from all the junk I’ve eaten for the past couple of months (hello, college life!) I’m in dire need of an outlet. I’d just finished watching an episode of Chef Gordon Ramsay’s Home Cooking and ugh what the hell did I just put myself through?
After having just a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast and lunch, I had a savory meal for dinner (small portions, I swear to God!) and now I’m feeling extra guilty about it. The downside on going on a diet is that it’s all psychological warfare, really.
But basically, I’m swearing off all junk food (chocolates, candy bars, processed food, deep fried anything, soft drinks, etc etc basically the whole enchilada) for the next month or so. I just need to survive this until the start of the second semester. I have a bet to win.
For a moment, she was struck with fear because the idea that she’d been living disillusioned on the concept of love and of trying to love was so raw, so real and ever so powerful.
And tonight she comes upon a stray thought, and one just as terrifying: “I’m afraid to try because you might be a repeat of my past… and we know how that ended — heartbreak, tears, regrets and shorter hair.”
So she fears for herself.
“I’ve begun to feel like my day is incomplete without a conversation with you. Men are terrible creatures,” she concludes. “They are foreign. Strange beings I have no prior knowledge of. What do I do?”
Sleep, I tell her, it’s both a refuge and an escape.
because heartbreak hurts
and there is nothing we can do about it
but if there is one thing we can do
it’s move on
let it go
let him be
because we deserve people
who will not make us
who will not darken the skies,
who will not block the stars,
who will bring forth the sun,
the moon, the entire universe,
to its knees
and only for you.
we deserve someone who will
who will not thrust a cutout to our faces
and say, “this is how I want you to be.”
and that is how you will know if it is love
or a mere infatuation,
an influx of feelings you thought you’d forgotten
so move on, dear girl
he is not the one
but I am so proud of you
I am so proud that you took a chance
even though the odds were against you
brave you are, little one
never fear because the world
rewards souls like yours